*SPOILERS AHEAD
Paava Kadhaigal, the Netflix Tamil anthology on gender, caste and the notion of honour in Indian families, released on December 18. There are four films in the anthology, each directed by Sudha Kongara, Gautham Menon, Vignesh Shivn and Vetrimaaran.
Sai Pallavi plays one of the leads in Vetrimaaran's film Oor Iravu along with Prakash Raj. Her character is that of a pregnant woman who goes to her father's house for a baby shower years after she eloped with a Dalit man.
The disturbing film is a mirror to how entrenched we are as a society in caste structures. Sai Pallavi's performance has won her critical acclaim and appreciation from fans. In this interview with TNM, the actor dissects her role and also speaks of her own experiences with gender, caste, community and prejudices.
The role you have done, of a pregnant woman who is killed by her father, is a very intense one. How did you feel after the shoot?
Sometimes you go through a trauma and every time you think about it, you feel that same emotion. That's what happens every time I talk about the film. I might sound like I'm exaggerating when I say it was hugely traumatic, but it's not the physical pain that I'm talking about.
You know there's this point where I'm on the floor and I'm telling my dad (played by Prakash Raj), just come here and look at me, see what I'm going through. I tell him I'm his favourite daughter and that I'm in pain. I'm torn between the fact that I'm the child talking to my father but now there's a baby inside me to whom I'm answerable. I cried so much..there's this dialogue where I say that in the yoga class, they said that whatever the mom feels, the baby also feels. And that I'm now feeling scared and I don't know how to tell my baby not to feel scared and that I'm there. That scene was too hard for me. I came there because I always wanted my family to take me in and when they did, I was betrayed. Not only did that hit hard, I have now put my baby in a spot. How did I trust them, why did I let my kid down? That conflict shook me.
Anytime I think about that portion alone, I feel very heavy. What happens in the film isn't fictional. It happens in real life. People who hurt you the most are your closest ones, people you never thought would hurt you like this. In other films, we have a lot of other elements. It's not as hard as this, we don't focus on that one moment or one emotion alone for a long time.
What I found interesting about your character is that she is unapologetic even when her siblings tell her how her act of eloping has led to her father pulling them out of college. Usually, women characters are shown as feeling guilty when they put their needs above those of their family...what was Vetrimaaran's brief to you?
We spoke about how this will be played, what emotions would the dad be going through. He's not a cold-hearted fellow who is just out to kill. That's why he wants to leave [when he visits the daughter in Bengaluru] in between. For my character, what was expected was that I need to believe that my dad is going to take me in and then be let down. That was the key thing that we spoke about.
But the point that you have brought forward, maybe that came because I played myself in that role. Maybe if Vetrimaaran sir had said that he wants her to be a naive girl, I would have done so...because it's natural to feel guilty. It's not wrong because all of us will feel like that when we hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally. It's her loved ones, her brother and sisters, who have to face the consequences for a decision that she took. But I personally didn't want to put that bit of guilt there because my character is surprised that her dad would even do something like that. I'm unaware that he has done this and when I realise it, I tell him that I will take care of my sisters. It wasn't something we put down on paper though.
You come from the Badaga community yourself. Growing up, what was your understanding of caste?
To be very honest, I can't say that I wasn't aware of a few things that were happening in the community. But right now, we are talking about the brutality and how much of violence prevails in these situations. People from my community have been soft compared to that but from the time I was small, I've been told that when I grow older, I have to marry a Badaga. A lot of people have chosen to marry outside the community but then, they are not living in the hatti in Kotagiri. My dad and mom live in Coimbatore so they don't have the pressure of what others think about them.
When you marry a non-Badaga, people in the village look at you in a different way; they don't mingle; they don't invite them to their functions and festivals; they are not allowed to come for funerals. It affects their lifestyle. For people who were born and brought up in that place, it's very hard for them to not be included. After I did the film, I told my dad that there might be a time when I have to talk about us [the community] and that I may not know about other communities but I know about mine. My dad is very naive and he just said but this happens everywhere, that everyone should marry within the community and that it is about culture. I told him that for the sake of culture or whatever, you can't blackmail a child into choosing what you want. I told him I find this disturbing.
My dad is open about anything my sister and I want to do in life but when we discuss another girl [generally speaking], he says that's how it is and he can't change everything.
And it is the women who are 'protected' this way because they are like property between two communities.
Yes, correct. When we talk about a girl marrying out of her community, it is made to look like she will marry that guy and take upon his community name and have those babies. So anytime a girl goes out of the community, it is frowned upon more than a guy doing so. If a girl marries out of her community, it means that she will take his name, fit into his community and their children will also belong to that community. It needn't be that way; their children can grow up with both identities but it's not seen like that.
Yes. In the film, too, we see that the father takes this decision because his older daughter's husband leaves her in their house since her sister is pregnant with a Dalit man's child.
Yes, because she ran away a long time ago but it's when she is going to have the Dalit man's child that things happen. I feel sad that a woman should always be some man's daughter, girlfriend, wife. Why can't a woman exist as herself?
Watch: Teaser of 'Oor Iravu'
What was the dynamic between you and Prakash Raj?
I was intimidated the first day because I've seen his body of work and I've always looked up to him. I thought I should read him properly and take something back. But he's got layers on and it's difficult to see through him and figure out how he prepares for a scene, even during the shot. When we were dubbing and we were looking at the cuts, I saw how he had various expressions for every moment. A character having so many layers is much more complex than someone just being loud. His character is that of a father who loves his daughter and doesn't really want to kill her but he has a family to feed, they have to be included in the community. When he's in Bengaluru, he treats her as his daughter, putting her on his lap. But once he's in the village, he's aware of what he should do.
When I saw his shots while dubbing, the ones which didn't have me, I saw that it had even more complicated layers. It's very difficult for me to crack it.
So, when are we going to see you play a happy pregnant woman? There was Karu and now this!
The thing is, I am a sucker for pain. I get so carried away by roles that have so much pain. In real life, I'm happy all the time. Touchwood. But when I listen to a script that's moving, if someone tells me I have to shave my hair off as a cancer patient, I'll say I'm in. I would choose that over a happy girl who's travelling and discovering the world. It's weird.
My family doesn't enjoy watching me cry and I look for my parents' reaction...half the time when I cry or die, my dad cries and I get some joy out of it (laughs). I watched Kali with my parents and when I'm in that car and the villain knocks at the door and tries to pull me out of it, my dad and mom were actually shivering and they told me they don't want me to do films like this. I was satisfied that they were touched and were able to connect to that scene.
You're playing a Naxal in Virata Parvam. Did you enjoy doing the action scenes?
I did. I actually did more action in Athiran but here, more than physical violence, it involves a different world. It is not just the Naxal background but it has layers to it. The director is a proper writer, he's done this film earlier called Needi Naadi Oke Katha. He has done a lot of research for this film. I don't think we have done a film in Telugu showcasing this side of the world.
In a recent interview, you spoke about Rana giving you equal credits for the film and how he believes in gender equality...
I'm someone who does films for the joy of it, being in front of the camera and having people connect to me. That gives me more joy than seeing my name first or anything. Even when I did Premam, my feeling was like wow, my name is up there for everyone to see. I didn't think about the order in which it appeared and it has never bothered me.
But Rana brought it up and when he said he wants my name to be the first in the title, I was surprised. He told me that this is my film and that's how it should be. It's nice when you don't have to fight for something; it's nice when it comes out of mutual respect. Sometimes, when you fight for your right and grab it, you feel guilty because you may wonder if you're not worthy of it. You think about how many others have worked hard. But this was something I didn't even think about and he said it is my right. He requested the producers and they were very welcoming. It was a healthy environment. It wasn't done as a favour.
Also read: 'Paava Kadhaigal' review: An uneven anthology film on caste, gender, honour
